When was the last time you heard a song, or a piece of music, that resonated deeply with your emotions? What was it that you felt? Do you notice that each time you have heard the song or piece of music since that first hearing, it resurrects in you the same emotions, whether suppressing or uplifting your spirits
The language we use, the dialogue we choose to describe how we are living our lives has the same powerful effect as a piece of music does in evoking an emotional response. The words we select to represent how we’re feeling and what we’re thinking inform our outward behaviours.
I’m doing some preparatory reading in readiness for developing further my skills as a coach. One of the concepts that has prompted me to reflect for a while about how I can make better choices in the way I respond to events around me, and the behaviour of others, is one from the Newfield Network’s text on Trust.
Our interaction with everything around us is a combination of our language, our emotion, and our physical being. If our emotion is shaping the language we choose, and this in turn is driving our behaviour, then paying attention to the emotions that come up enables us to recognise whether these emotions are moving us forward or holding us back.
Do you notice what you feel when a colleague doesn’t immediately engage with an idea you are convinced is brilliant! Is what you’re feeling a response to how you feel about your colleague, or how you feel about what you might sense is a mild form of rejection of you on their part. How about when a loved one’s perception of something differs wildly you’re your own. Are you annoyed because they can’t see what you see or because they’re showing an aspect of themselves that doesn’t suit your needs. Exploring the difference between our emotional interpretation of the impact of others’ behaviour towards us, and how we truly feel about the person is enlightening.
We can all too often consume ourselves with the superficial impact of others’ behaviour in the moment, instead of looking beyond the moment at what their behaviour triggers in our awareness of who we are and how we would like to be acknowledged in the world.
What is your ‘heartbeat’ song? Why does it touch you so deeply? What do the lyrics mean for you? Does it hold you back, reminding you of past pain and negative feelings in a way that keeps you in past, or even in present pain? Or does it help move you forward on your path, allowing you to acknowledge and carry that rich insight with you? If it’s the former….is it time to change your song? If it’s the latter….play it loud and let it lift your spirits on the days when you need to be reminded that the music we choose to play as the soundtrack to our life is just that….a choice…. a very powerful one!